So the spam blogs are back to being just empty blogs with weird urls and nothing else (no weird bios or stolen thirst-trap photos). So if you’re newer to Tumblr, and about to hit follow on my blog, but your blog has literally nothing on it? Don’t follow me yet. Go edit your blog’s theme/appearance and at the very least have a bio or blog title so other users on this site can tell you’re not a spam bot.

Then come back and follow me. If you follow me first, and your blog has no posts, and the likes public but no likes, and the follows public but (again) no posts? I’m going to end up reporting you as spam and blocking you on the assumption you’re a bot.

pinning this for a bit tumblr stuff spam bots

what-even-is-thiss:

what-even-is-thiss:

what-even-is-thiss:

A lot of people genuinely think that being transgender is a sexual fetish and that’s why they think it’s inappropriate for us to be around children or for children to learn about us or for children to transition. It’s similar to why they don’t want gay people around their children.

Basic logic doesn’t matter to them. If this was just a sex thing I wouldn’t commit to it this hard. My day to day existence as myself isn’t any more inherently sexual than the day to day life of a cishet man. Same goes for trans women, non binary people, and gnc cis ppl that choose to physically transition.

We all know this. A lot of bigots will also claim to know this. But this was the official explanation of and the public’s general understanding of trans people for decades. That we have a sexual fetish we’re going way too far with. There’s still older trans people who self-identify that way because leaning into these misconceptions was the only way they were able to get healthcare back in the day. These ideas are deeply engrained into society and don’t vanish overnight.

This is what a lot of people think about when they see us. Sex. It’s all about the sex part to them. Our day to day existence is inherently involving other people in our fetish to them. And yeah. Transitioning can lead to better satisfaction with your sex life. But that’s mostly because it leads to better satisfaction with every part of your life. But again. Basic logic doesn’t matter to bigots. But learning this explained a lot to me about why they react to us the way they do. It is a dislike of things they don’t understand, yes, but it’s also decades of everyone assuming that we’re just publicizing a fetish we have and making it everyone else’s business.

You’re not gonna easily convince bigots. Bigotry is based on emotional reaction and peoples emotional reactions aren’t easily changed.

However, knowing what the general public is thinking just under the surface can be useful when getting information out there. That’s why trans women are women, trans men are men, non binary people are non binary has become a rallying cry and repeated mantra for the trans rights movement in recent years. We’ve been fighting inch by inch to change the narrative. I’m not a woman pretending to be a man for my own twisted sexual satisfaction. I am a man. When I’m cooking, when I’m on the bus, when I’m pissing, when I’m hanging out with my cousins. Every second of my life I’m not a woman. Not just when I’m thinking about sex.

And changing the narrative has been working. Slowly. Just the fact that many young people today don’t know about the existence of this stupid take that used to be the standard explanation is a win. The fact that official psychiatric boards recommend we be allowed to transition is a win.

But the people making laws restricting our rights are still thinking about this even if they say they’re not. We need to keep this as a stupid braindead take. Anyone who thinks this needs to be seen as an idiot. It cannot become a mainstream talking point again.

And yes the collective cultural memory of this braindead take are what TERFs are thinking about when they claim that trans women shouldn’t be allowed in women’s spaces. This is generally where people’s fear of trans women comes from a lot of the time. There’s other equally stupid things as well but once you know about this a lot of the stupid things that people say about trans people and especially trans women start to make sense.

It’s also partially why concerned parents in recent years have been concerned about trans men influencing their daughters. Any trans person can be considered a confused oppressed little woman who doesn’t know what’s best for her or a dangerous overly sexual man recruiting others to his twisted fetish depending on the situation. That’s the fun part about subverting gender expectations. Literally any gender stereotype that sounds the worst depending on the situation can be applied to you.

(via fuckyeahasexual)

transphobia queer history

queeranarchism:

quasi-normalcy:

quasi-normalcy:

If you have bodily autonomy, then there is always a chance that you will do something to your body that you will regret. This is not an argument for taking that autonomy away.

There is a much, much higher chance that someone who is not you will do something to your body that you regret.

Also doing something to your body that you regret is a completely different feeling from having something done to your body that you do not want.

One is kind of a “well shit, guess I made a mistake that I now have to fix”, the other is a violation of the most personal thing you have in this world. The two are not remotely the same. 

(via cipheramnesia)

bodily autonomy

ohnochanges:

ohnochanges:

new activity feed stuff from this post

two examples of the activity feed page, the second having the new highlighting for new notifs and markers for "following/mutuals", further explained belowALT

1. Before: Blue highlighting used to signify activity from people you follow.

2. After: New highlight color now used on unread activity

3. After: Colorful new labels to distinguish activity from people you follow (following) and who follow you back (mutuals).

thots?

oh no. change.

oh yea seems useful

i dislike the specific implementation for some reason

i like it, but wish they would change (thing)

pretty colors :)

sure its fine

¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

tag thots (in the tags)

(NOTE: further explaination in the post linked in title, and staff asked for feedback so feel free to give there)

to add bc ppl are asking in the tags, heres from the linked post regarding sideblogs:

“Mutuals” are people you follow who also follow you back. This only applies to your primary blogs, not your secondary blogs, for those of you with many blogs.

im not sure exactly how that will work, like if that means sideblogs wont show mutals badges at all on EITHER end, or if i follow someone from my main and they follow a blog will it show as mutuals on the activity feed on that blog? idk!

if it works the way im assuming its gonna, I think thisll mean that none of my blogs will show up as mutuals for anyone bc my “main” is just a reference blog with like 3 followers.

but i guess this is a forewarning, if you see someone you think youre mutuals with just marked as “following”, it might just be because of sideblog stuff. or maybe not. and if ur friend is only showing as “following” but theyre constantly popping up in ur activity feed anyway who cares theyre looking at ur stuff. dont get too worried about it.

(via character-of-all-time)

poll vote tumblr updates listen my big issue with tumblr for years is its hard to tell who your mutuals are without going to your followers list this is so fucking exciting!

gay-jesus-probably:

thesixthstar:

rottingtrouble-child:

I fucking hate the “explaining = invalidating” when it comes to apologies. Yes, sometimes a person means to invalidate you by saying this, but sometimes we genuinely just want to fucking explain our side so we can properly communicate.

I do not know what the fuck is wrong until I’m told what I’ve done wrong and feel the need to explain in order for us to see both of our sides

I like getting explanations with apologies because for me it helps lessen the damage that was done or can help clear the negative emotions.

I’ve had multiple people say it’s a sign that I’m a bad person that I don’t apologize right away, or that I’m giving excuses instead of owning up and apologizing (which is fucking hard for me to know if I’m actually in the wrong or not and people doing this shit does NOT fucking help). Apologies aren’t always just a “Sorry” one and done deal thing.

knowing that someone didn’t mean to harm you, and in fact may have been trying to help, can be comforting! knowing how they came to choose actions that harmed you can help you both collaborate to avoid harm in the future! Knowing whats going on in the mind of your loved ones can be important and bring you closer together in times of possible conflict!
An explanation is NOT an excuse, thats true, but that also means that someone explaining doesn’t mean they’re not ALSO trying to apologize on top of that!

I’ve always considered explanations to be a vital part of an apology! I mean, if you’ve done something to upset a person, they deserve to know why you did it. Just saying sorry and leaving it at that isn’t helpful.

(via akindplace)

twofingerswhiskey:

poll time because something my mother said pissed me off lmao

do you remove or shave your body hair (on your legs, under your arms, etc)?

all the time

i don’t really care for shaving but i do it because of society

sometimes but not always

never

if i remember to

i don’t have any body hair that is worth shaving tbh

and in the tags tell me your gender and age?

(via dovesndecay)

poll vote 27/nb sometimes but not always i would always because i have sensory issues and a disorder that makes me pull hair out so shaving stops me from damaging myself from that however I’m also disabled so i struggle to keep up with it because it takes a lot of energy i have an electric razor that helps but i still have to have the energy to get in the tub

fairandfatalasfair:

traycakes:

sinnahsaint:

enki2:

image

Which is why it’s important to not be mean.

Their cult teaches them that the world is full of scary monster people who hate them for being so good and loved by god. If you swear at them and call them names or get in their face you’re just doing the cults work for it.

I’m not saying you have to listen to their presentation or try to debate them (and really getting into a debate without thoroughly understanding what they’re being taught will just make things worse)… I am just saying to be polite and say no thank you like if they were trying to hand you a flyer for something you don’t care about.

It’s easier for them to see the world outside their bubble as less scary if they see everyday people just going about their business and being as nice to them as you are to everyone else. This goes doubly for anyone who happens to dress modestly, not swear, and not drink or smoke because whatever you believe, they’ll see you as a “good” person who happens to strangely have no interest in their “message”, and that might be enough to get some curious about the possibility of themselves living in the real world.

It’s sometimes hard to be nice to people who seem to represent something you dislike. Just remember these “elders” are sheltered young men, some of which are getting their first real contact with people of other/no faiths.

They are not your enemy. They are victims.

They aren’t being sent out to actually convert people, they are being sent out hoping that they will be harassed and treated poorly so they view those outside the cult as dangerous and evil and stick to the safety of the familiar group.

You being mean to some teenager isn’t sticking it to anyone, you’re doing exactly what their church elders want to happen.

I used to live across the street from a mormon church, which meant I ran into a lot of missionaries. I used to take it as a challenge to get them to have a pleasant chat about something that wasn’t mormonism, which is actually pretty easy because they’re 19 year old kids who are out of their depth. So while I certainly don’t think everyone has to try to actively have pleasant interactions with mormon missionaries, here’s my script for doing so:

  • Get first names - they’ll introduce themselves as “elder so-and-so”, but if you just straight up ask for a first name I never had them refuse. Partly this is because I’m more comfortable with first names? but I also feel like it puts everyone on even ground and gets them off-script and out of their cult lingo. (And spares us all the discomfort of me having to explain that elder is a real word with a meaning and they do not meet the criteria, so their options are first names or “kiddo”)
  • Ask them about something non-church related - I usually asked what their plans were for after their mission. Be friendly and engaging about it. Ask follow up questions. One guy pulled out his aerospace engineering texts that he was studying in his “spare time” on his mission to show me (which imo shows a HECK of a lot of passion and excitement, do you know how little spare time these guys have?) Compliment them on their non-church interests if you can.
  • Ruthlessly (but politely) bounce off the subject every time they try to bring up mormonism. I would just cheerfully say “Oh that’s alright!” as though declining a free sample of cheese at the grocery store, and ask another follow up question every time they tried to bring the topic around to actually evangelising. If they do manage to pin you down on it, a friendly “Oh, I’m not looking for a new religion, thank you though!” and change of subject usually throws them off.
  • Chat until you feel like you’re running out of time and/or things to say , and then tell them you have somewhere to be and you hope they have a good day. Don’t take any literature & don’t agree to any follow-ups; this isn’t about giving them the chance to get you into their cult. Just wish them well and move on. The idea is for this to be pleasant all around, and for them to have a small positive interaction consistent with the idea that non-mormons are nice people who just aren’t that interested in talking about mormonism.

(via human-leather-hat-appreciator)

magspag:

lunaticobscurity:

james-silvercat:

direwoman:

i hate that i have to keep reminding people of this but if you are sending money to a sex worker for any service or content please do not put ANYTHING in the memo field unless told otherwise by the provider

don’t try to be cute or funny with it, the best way to make them smile is by following directions 💕

Paypal, for one, will delete someone’s account and steal their money if they catch a whiff of your transaction being in any way nsfw, DO NOT SAY SHIT, just silently send the money as you are told if you need to speak something regarding it do so via DIRECT MESSAGES and FAR from the program of the transaction

i would go as far as to say never to add notes to paypal transactions. i recently saw someone have their account frozen from buying anime vhs tapes, because the anime in question happened to have the word “persia” in the title.

you never know what kind of weird thing is going to trigger their algorithm, so just don’t

It’s been over a decade, but I’m still saddled with a lifetime ban from paypal and by extension venmo because one of my friends who was paying me back for buying him and his gf at the time dinner thought it would be funny to include “for sensual massage” in the notes section and not only did they not let the transaction go through they took back all the money anybody had EVER sent me via paypal, which thankfully wasn’t much.

(via kai-likes-puffins)

fuck paypal sw

fairycosmos:

parents are so crazy because they can say the most fucked up shit to you when your brain is forming and it sets the tone for your whole adult mind set and then they forget about it the next day

(via dabwax)

developmental trauma


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